Thursday, August 15, 2019

Home Away From Home

Each small step it took to move into my new home meant bigger and brighter responsibilities. From the drive down to IPFW to when I laid my head down to sleep was a positive moment that changed my life. This transition was the beginning of a new chapter in my life that I was proud to accomplish. Getting to this stage in my life I have yet to step foot in what was in store for my future. The morning of August 19th only a yawn away, anxiety ran through my body like a strike of lightening. I was feeling so many emotions I was not sure how to express how excited I was to be moving into an entirely new environment. As I prepared for the big move I also felt a sense of sadness in the air, here I was my mother’s only girl leaving off for college. While reviewing my old room checking just to see if everything was set I found myself sitting on the corner of the sheet less bed reminiscing on the good and bad memorize I held behind the walls of this house. I found it ironic that even though this place was so hard to forget it was easy to let go. As the road trip begun I realized that this was it, and there was no turning back. Everyone was saying their goodbyes even though they realize that it was not forever. The van was packed to its maximum, and the ride was roughly two hours away. I had to cease the moment and go to sleep or at least attempt to get some rest. I sat and watched cars pass by and I felt the stretch of distance from home I was becoming, I wondered if any of the cars I saw were headed to the same place as I was. I can honestly say that this day did not go according to plan. There was an issue that occurred of whether or not I was staying in my assigned room or moving into another, so part of the day was a little stressful. At the same time I could not let it get to me and effect what I had to get accomplished for the remainder of the day. In the mist of all that commotion I realize that life is full of obstacles waiting to hit you as soon as you turn the page of a chapter in your life. It is up to you if you allow something to hinder your goals and success. Entering the home of IPFW I was waiting to feel welcomed, like I was home again, but deep down I knew that it was not time to feel at home when I did not have the keys to my room. All kinds of thoughts began to run through my head because in a matter of hours I would be on my own to take care of myself. During the next couple hours I started to feel independent because I had keys to my dorm. As I walked up to the door my mom had a video camera watching me put in my key for the first time. It tickled me a little to know that this moment was just as big to her as it was to me. We began to bring in my belongings, boxes already labeled to where they belonged. I was so thankful to have some of my family there to help me unpack and it gave us more time to spend with each other before they left on their journey back to South Bend. The more it became closer for me to be alone the more I thought about how I never had this much responsibility handed to me at one time. At this time I began to feel overwhelmed, but I did not panic and become all worked up about the situation. There was no room for mistakes, even though I truly knew that I was going to make a lot of them. Getting to know a place was another task that would add on my experience. Later on we took a small trip to do some more last minute shopping for food. As the times go by, I realize that in a matter of time there will be no more running to my parents for help; because there was only me. I knew that from here on out that I had to build myself confidence and take on my own responsibilities. At this moment I am still absorbing the fact that I am going to be on my own. As the seconds go by I am becoming more comfortable with the fact that I have me, myself, and I to depend on for the rest of my life starting when my family walk out the doors of my dorm room. When I was here alone finishing up the last touches of my room and new home, I waited for my roommate to arrive. I was very glad that I knew her previous to coming down to Fort Wayne. As soon as we both ended our goodbyes with our families we just took a second to soak in our new life. I realize that soon the weekend would come to an end and class would begin, all fun and games will have to be set aside. Before I could do that, for one small moment I had to just prance around and jump on my bed. I did not really have a valid reason to why, but I felt the urge to express myself in a goofy manner. Once again I found myself sitting on the corner of the bed thinking about the future this time, and what it took for me to get there. This moment that lasted throughout the course of the day was a step that I was ready to take, but yet not sure where it would take me. Starting from that day my life would never be the same. Each day was all about survival on my own. I knew in order from me to make it through college I had to become socially active with my peers and life around campus. I take this moment and look at the negative and turn it into a positive because without negativity I do not think that we would able to appreciate the values of positivity. From that period on I have to rely on myself to fix my next meal, wake myself and be prepared for my next class. There is no room for dwelling on the past and wishing for what i do not have because it is not going to help me when it is not present. This moment set me up for a new beginning of my life and career. Decisions waiting to be made of the unknown. From this point I was an independent adult and no longer living under rules that I had to ask permission. The way I see it is I am free! When the day was finally complete I rested my head on the pillow and prepare for the following day. This moment help me become the person that I am today, someone that is driven to improve my abilities to better my skills and accomplish way more then what my eyes can envision.

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